Reflecting on the holiday, I am in San Jose feeling like the lone Jewess transplanted from the place where I never knew there were people who had never SEEN a Jew and had never experienced antisemitism. And, as with all reflection, I took a look at a letter I'd written my stepson last year for his birthday. Please feel free to comment - it's vanity (as all is vanity and striving after wind...) but you'll get the point. I think he did, too. Happy New Year. Have a little food. Give someone a hug.
Letter to you on your birthday, my special friend:
10 years old - think about what the world was like back when you were born... One whole decade of your life makes up your history, and your future waits to unfold for you like a story in the decades still to come. Can you imagine yourself another decade older? 20 years old, just 10 years from now. That’s a huge leap from here if you think about how much you’ll do in the next 10 years.
I thought back to when I turned 10. I wished somebody would have told me some things that might happen or just stuff in general that only comes with being old like me. So, I thought I’d write those things down for you. Some of the things are just what I wish I’d done differently, some are things I am really glad I did, and some are things that have helped me get through some tough times:
- You are only as good as your word. You are born with it (it’s the cry you make when you come out of your mom’s tummy) and you die with it (everyone’s got something to say before they die, and some even put it on their gravestone.) There’s no clothing on your back when you come into the world and none when you leave it, but you scream at everyone when you’re born and whisper when you exit. So, keep your word and the world will come back to you because you’re a trusted soul.
- Travel.
- Do one thing REALLY well. Like skateboarding. Or playing guitar. Or even knitting. But practice and become an expert. I wish I had stuck with one thing long enough to be considered an “expert.” But, there’s always time.
- Treat others how you want to be treated, even if you don’t think they deserve it.
- Go for long walks alone and think.
- Write in a journal. Look back after some time and reflect on how you felt. Quite often, the things that made us mad or happy or sad a year or two ago, don’t make use feel like that when we look back.
- Try everything within reason - I mean food, and sports, and walking around naked in the snow, or seeing how long you can go without taking a shower (oh, right you tried that last week ;)
- Tell people who you love how you feel. Affection helps everyone.
- Be sincere.
- Love what you do for a living. You must. You’ll come to define yourself by what you do. So you better love it.
- Make peace with your brother. (I wish I did this - but you have to make peace with yourself first as to why you’re angry with him. I wasn’t angry at my brother, I was angry at my mom and my dad for messing up our family.
- Hygiene matters and practice it whenever and where ever you get the opportunity because you never know what might keep you from getting that next shower or who you might meet walking down the street. And if you travel this is extra important. Ask me about Hurricane Wilma - I didn’t get a shower for 10 days. Ew.
- Volunteer regularly. Giving to people in need will make you humble.
- Love yourself. That’s the hardest thing to do. You may not know what I mean now, but you will. We do things in our life that we look back on and we don’t like the people we were when we did them. But forgive yourself. Because when people don’t forgive themselves they become ugly and bitter.
- Save your money but don’t be stingy.
- Think about something good when you get up in the morning and it will take away any bad feelings that might ruin a perfectly good morning.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes.
- Allow yourself to be competitive. Victory dances are good in moderation.
- Learn to tell jokes.
- Don't be racist or sexist
- And, last but not least, to yourself be true.
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